In yesterday’s post we started talking about ways to stop fearing rejection, here are some more points to continue to direct you to a point where you see rejection differently.
As you look back on your life, you will often realise that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good, you were in fact being redirected to something better.
You can’t control everything – especially the opinions of others. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen the way it’s supposed to. Because sometimes the outcomes you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow into your strongest, smartest self.
4. Let Your Presence Overpower Your Fear.
Ever noticed how people who are struggling with emotional problems tend to tell you how they don’t want to feel? Fair enough, but at some point we all need to focus on how we DO want to feel.
When you’re in a social situation that is making you anxious, forget what you don’t want to feel for a moment. Work out how you DO want to feel right now in the present moment. Train yourself to live right here, right now without regretting how others once made you feel, or fearing the possibility of future judgment.
This is YOUR choice. You CAN change the way you think.
If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on your mum in public, you’d be 100% focused and present. You wouldn’t be thinking about what bystanders thought of your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you were wearing. All these inconsequential details would vanish from your consciousness. The intensity of the situation would motivate you to choose not to care about what others might be thinking of you. This proves, quite simply, that thinking about what others are thinking about you is YOUR CHOICE.
5. Let Go of Your Need to Always Be Right.
The reason your fear of rejection sometimes gets the best of you is because a part of you believes you’re always right. If you think someone doesn’t like you, then surely they don’t. Right? WRONG!
People who never learn to question their emotions, especially when they’re feeling nervous or anxious, make life much more difficult than it has to be. If your perception is always so accurate, why do you make so many mistakes?
It’s time to let go a little. Being more confident in life partly means being OK with not knowing what’s going to happen, so you can relax and allow things to play out naturally. Relaxing with “not knowing” is the key to confidence in relationships and peace in life.
So here’s a new mantra for you – say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons. I have nothing to prove. And as long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.”
6. Embrace and Enjoy your Individuality.
Flip the switch on this habit. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change.
Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that is trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your remarkable self. And if they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.
It takes a lot of courage to stand alone, but it’s worth it. Being unapologetically YOU is worth it! Your real friends in life will reveal themselves slowly – they’re the ones who truly know you and love you just the same. Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
“Well, that proves once again that I am not worthy.”
What you need to realize is, these other people are NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey.
Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can quickly find new ones that will. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer. Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.
“Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course, you’re human. There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heart break at the awareness of rejection. For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…
What did I do wrong?
Why didn’t they like me?
But then you have to let your emotions fuel you!
This is the important part.
Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.